“Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.” ~Hippocrates
Divorce, especially after a long marriage, is often seen as a declaration of independence. Some women will want to date as soon as possible, and other may feel like they never want to enter another romantic relationship.
There is one significant legal concern about dating before or during a divorce. After the divorce is final, you’re free to do as you please, but proceed with care.
The Legalese of Dating
Infidelity is grounds for divorce, and it can also be a reason to not award alimony or spousal support. If you’re going through a divorce, it’s best to avoid even the perception of infidelity, which can hurt the outcome of your case. To protect your interests, avoid dating before you have filed for divorce. Even if you have talked about divorce for years and lived apart for months, it is important to draw a clear line with formal filing to ensure nothing, no matter how innocent, can be used against you in court.
Once you’ve filed for divorce, you have more latitude, but be cautious about social media exposure and the rumor mill, as jealousy and misperception may impact or delay finalizing your divorce.
Lady Liberty
When your divorce is finalized, dating no longer poses the same restrictions or risks that it might bring earlier on. Legally, there are no more barriers to prevent you from dating. That said, it’s often best to start by dating yourself.
Depending on how long you were with your ex, you may have missed all the dating apps and social media interactions. Before you even think about Tinder or eHarmony to get to know someone else – first get to know yourself again.
Oftentimes, so much of your life, interests, and activities are intertwined with your ex. Sometimes it’s best to take a little while to yourself and ask how you really want to be living. Did you always vacation in the mountains and you actually want to go to the beach? Do you even like the kind of wine the two of you drank together? Did you always want to make time to start a new hobby? Now’s the time to explore!
Road Tripping Through the Past to Navigate Your Future
Whether you work with a therapist, a life coach, a good friend, or your faith community, don’t go it alone. Assess where you came from so you can move forward with intention and purpose. Your happiness is your responsibility, but it’s okay to have support in your pursuit.
Ask yourself what you want from a new relationship when you’re ready to pursue one. Explore your deal breakers and must haves in a potential partner.
You Deserve Happily Ever After
When you know who you really are after the divorce, it is easier to know what the new you wants out of life and any future relationships. Taking the time to reconcile these major life changes and establish your identity and boundaries will prepare you to enter the next phase of your life with honesty, clear communication, and an open heart.
