While divorce is usually not the most peaceful time in many Marietta residents’ lives, divorcing spouses do not need to devolve to shouting matches and escaping from their problems through alcohol. Anyone that is recovering from an alcohol addiction knows that getting angry, overwhelmed or upset can interfere with sobriety, but there are some ways of controlling those negative emotions while going through a divorce. Even if you aren’t working through an addiction, the more amicable your divorce is the better.

One of the best ways to avoid anger and resentment in a divorce is to communicate with your former spouse when you are calm. Instead of immediately responding to a text message or email that has made you mad, wait and think about what is best for you and for your children. Try to stay calm and take deep breaths; it may also be helpful to put some physical space between you and your phone or computer in order to remove the temptation.

It is important to realize that you cannot control your ex-husband or ex-wife. Instead, focus on something you can control — your emotions. When you are having trouble even doing that, turn to others for support. If you are battling alcoholism, look for a sponsor or a support group.

While it may seem difficult or absurd, sometimes it is important to approach arguments with patience and kindness. It is more likely that a disagreement will quickly fade if you maintain a positive attitude.

There is no guarantee that a divorce will be amicable, but it is more likely that former couples can be civil with each other if they try to remain positive. For anyone trying to stay sober, however, it is even more important to not let your anger or resentment take control in order to continue your recovery.

Source: The Fix, “Splitting Up Soberly,” Rachael Brownell, Sept. 27, 2011